"Sure!" he said the other day. "They don't have no speed like me. I know I can help this team. Especially when I hit ahead of Morneau and the catcher and the other guy."
Uh, does anybody think maybe they should have had a meet-and-greet in the clubhouse before they started practicing?
"Morneau and the catcher and the other guy."
Hey, Carlos, meet Joe Mauer. We like to call him franchise. Hmm? No, that's not his real name. That's just what we call him. His real name is Mauer. Mauer. M-A-U-E-R. Mauer. Sounds like sour.
Best guesses on "the other guy"? Delmon Young? Michael Cuddyer? Harmon Killebrew?