What I'm Reading: A Little Profundity In Between the Profanity

One of the baseball blogs I read daily is Drunk Jays Fans, which is a reliably solid source of entertainment and Blue Jays info.




The excerpt here is a nice example of how they manage to be smart and profane at the same time, which is no mean feat if you think about it.

I think we've successfully driven away most of the Chicken Little types from this site by calling them retards in our comments sections, but I've got to admit, I do completely see where their frustration is coming from. I mean, it’s not like I want this site to host a community of pathetic eternal optimists, because they way the Jays are playing right now is bullshit, and it's fine to say that. Thursday's hitting performance was, again, abysmal. And yeah, there are now big time concerns about whether or not they can resuscitate the season. That's all very true.

But what kills me is when people start saying, with five fucking months to go, they're doomed! Season's over! I'm through!

I'm probably the exception here, but to me the thing about sports that don't have salary caps, like baseball or soccer, is that you're forced to appreciate the sport for what it is, and don't just live or die based on whether your team is winning or losing. If the season here goes down the shitter-- which I'm not saying it's about to-- it doesn't make it any less great to go out to the ballpark on a beautiful summer day, sneak down to some seats in the 100s and then sit in the sunshine getting stinko. Or to fire up the barbecue with the radio on in the backyard and listening to the ballgame in the simmering twilight. You know, bullshit like that. People in Cleveland got used to it for like forty years, and while I am fully aware that we deserve better than them, I really think that, if it comes to it, we should at least be able to watch this season slip quietly underwater without losing our fucking minds.

You'd think that with 26 of 30 teams staying home from the playoffs each year that fans would learn to handle losing with dignity. But that never, or at least rarely, seems to be the case.

So in the spirit of beginning small, I'm asking, here and now, in this tiny, cold and dark corner of the Interweb, that the three people who read this all resolve to "watch this season slip quietly underwater without losing our fucking minds."

Is that really so much to ask?

No offense, Cleveland.

Entrance Music: Eric Byrnes Likes Older Ladies and One Night Stands

Every time Eric Byrnes comes to bat at Chase Field in Phoenix, his home field, the public address system plays the same song: Your Love by The Outfield.



If you've somehow forgotten the lyrics to this classic, let's examine the opening stanza:

Josie's on a vacation far away,
Come around and talk it over
So many things that I wanna say
You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

Now, putting aside just how awesome this song is, and it is awesome, don't get me wrong, the opening hook (lyrics above) of Your Love is what Eric Byrnes chooses to hear every single time he comes to bat. I find that wonderful and horrifying.

Let's be clear: at home games, players choose their entrance music. What they pick says a lot about them and sounds like a great recurring feature for this blog.

For Byrnes, this is the one song out of all songs that most speaks to him, most excites him, most puts him in the right frame of mind to punish the baseball. Out of all other music across all time and place, this is what Eric Byrnes chose to prepare himself for battle and, let's not forget, to represent himself to the fans in the stands.

You know I like my girls a little bit older
I just wanna use your love tonight
I don't wanna lose your love tonight

How awesome is that. Eric Byrnes is my new favorite player.

"You know I like my girls a little bit older."

Now, if you'll excuse me, the Diamondbacks game starts in about twenty minutes I have to haul over to YouTube to see if I can’t get some video goodness.

Overheard on Extra Innings: Tom Seaver Had A Rubber Arm

Did you know Tom Seaver won both games of a doubleheader once? True story.



On tonight's Sports Time Ohio broadcast of the Indians-Twins game, the announcers were reminiscing about 20+ inning games of the past, apropos of, well, you know.

STO color man and former MLB outfielder Rick Manning described a 25* inning game he played in for the Brewers against the White Sox in 1984**, which at 8:06 is the longest game ever played in the MLB by time (and tied for the 2nd longest by innings).

The game began on May 8, 1984, and was suspended at 6-6 after 17 innings. Play resumed on May 9, and the teams played another scoreless 7 innings before Tom Seaver entered the game in the top of the 25th. He retired Bill Schroeder, Robin Yount and Cecil Cooper in order. In the bottom of the 25th, Harold Baines came up for the White Sox with 1 out and hit a solo home run to win the game, 7-6.

Since the teams were already scheduled to play each other on the 9th, they went ahead and played just like it was the second game of a doubleheader. According to Manning, Seaver stayed loose between games by throwing in front of the dugout. He started the second game and threw an impressive 8 1/3 innings for the 5-4 win.

By 1984, Tom Seaver was on the downside of his career, but he still threw 230+ IP and went 15-11 with a 3.95 ERA that year. His real rubber arm days, however, had come years earlier. From 1967 to 1978, he threw fewer than 250 innings just once - 236 IP in 1974. He topped 270 IP in 7 of those seasons, topping out twice at 290 innings. Ye gods.

Just for that, let's get one more picture of Tom Terrific.



Incidentally, I can't even remember Seaver playing for the White Sox. As far as I'm concerned, he was a Met first and a Red second. Let's just pretend the South Side period never happened. Deal?


*I probably shouldn't throw Manning under the bus like this, but he thought it was a 26 inning game.

**He also thought the game happened in 1983.


Finally, this has nothing to do with either Tom Seaver or Rick Manning, but I thought you would want to know that Carlton Fisk caught all 25 innings of that first game, and went 3 for 11 at the plate.

All together: Carlton Fisk had rubber knees.

This Just In: Jose Reyes Now Allowed To Have Fun

I must admit I somehow missed the original prohibition on Reyes-fun, but reading this made me realize just how grave the situation was:

Carlos Beltrán had seen enough. So in a quiet moment Tuesday afternoon, he pulled a chair beside Jose Reyes's locker and offered some unsolicited advice. Recalling their conversation Wednesday night after the Mets' 5-2 victory against the Washington Nationals, Beltrán said he told him: “I want you to be the Reyes you’ve always been. Forget what people say, what they write about you, what people think. Just be you.”

By the way, read that paragraph again. Dude, I know you write for the New York Times, but you can't write every story like it's Middle East diplomacy. In a quiet moment, my ass.

If there were any doubt that Reyes listened, it was erased in the fifth inning when he sprinted from the opposite end of the dugout to be the first one to greet Beltrán, whose three-run homer put the Mets ahead to stay. Reyes met Beltrán at the top step with a semi-elaborate handshake. The self-imposed restraint was gone, replaced by the unbridled joy that the Mets have rarely seen through the early weeks of the season.

Reyes said in spring training that he would tone down his celebratory antics and choreographed handshakes, but since returning from a strained left hamstring he has played his last two games as if he is unencumbered by perceptions of what is right or wrong. A night after notching four hits, Reyes added two more, including a game-tying homer in the fifth, and he could not have been happier about it.

“That’s what brought me here to the big leagues — jumping, smiling, laughing in the dugout,” Reyes said. “That’s me.”

The real benefit of allowing Reyes to have fun is that it will distract attention from their starting lineup, which tonight included Angel Pagan in CF, Brady Clark in LF, and Raul Casanova at C.



So, can someone remind me why Reyes was previously not having fun?

Reyes irked some teams last season with his exuberant celebrations, his congratulating teammates with his helmet off and a complex series of hand-slaps and hugs. He vowed to curb those celebrations. His reasoning? He did not want to divert attention from what he hoped would be a bounce-back season.

The way the Mets ended the season, with a historic collapse in September, aided and abetted by Reyes abysmal .205/.279/.333 line, I can understand coming into 2008 all business.

But why is the focus on the fact that he "irked" other teams with his "exuberance"? Are there really other professional baseball players sitting in the opposite dugout stewing over the exuberance of Jose Reyes?

EXT. SHOT: FLORIDA MARLINS' DUGOUT -- NIGHT

In a quiet moment between innings, Marlins' players gather on the bench to converse and share notes over just how much they hate Jose Reyes.

Dan Uggla: "Man, I hate me some Jose Reyes. Big time."
Hanley Ramirez: "I hate him so much. He is very irksome."
Josh Willingham: "It's his exuberance I find so offensive."
Jeremy Hermida: "I think I tweaked my hammy just sitting here."

"Did you see what Reyes is doing over there? What a dick."

It's worth noting that in the 3 games since Beltran granted Reyes permission to enjoy himself, he's gone 8 for 14 with 5 singles, 1 double, 1 triple and 1 homer.

Go forth, young man, and irk.

Overheard: Miguel Tejada is 100 years old

The interwebs are abuzz today with word of Miguel Tejada's age-based revelation.

My first reaction: I bet the Orioles are happy; Tejada was only 31 when they traded him. Once he went to Houston, he began aging in dog years or something.

"I'm old enough to be your poppy, Papi."

You know, I've always liked Miguel Tejada. He plays hard, he has fun and he's pretty darn good. Good note for up-and-coming ballplayers: Do those three things and I'll be a fan. I'm pretty easy that way.

"You traded me where?"

I suppose I'm a softie, but I can certainly understand why Tejada would have lied at the time he signed his first deal as a teenager in the Dominican Republic.

"I was a poor kid," Tejada said. "I wanted to sign a professional contract, and that was the only way to do it. I didn't want or mean to do anything wrong. At the time, I was two years older than they thought."

That reminds me: why are Dominican players such free swingers? Because you can't walk off the island.

Classic.

Lying about your age is wrong, no question. But let's call it a youthful error in judgment. There are certainly worse things you could do.

Whoops.

UPDATE: Tejada went 3-for-4 tonight with a home run, upping his season average to .328. Maybe he was relieved to have the monkey off his back?

Steak at Stake, Chapter 3

For the newbies, here are the Steak at Stake ground rules.

Update: Much like his opponent in this wager, C.C. Sabathia sucks.



You heard me, big man. You are costing me steak.

Last night, Sabathia gave up 9 earned runs on 8 hits and 5 walks in just 4 innings to raise his season ERA to 13.50. His season line is 0-3, with 32 hits, 14 walks, 27 earned runs, 5 home runs and 14 strikeouts in 18 innings pitched.

Players in contract years are supposed to be motivated, and Sabathia could be costing himself a shot at Johan Santana money. However, those with steak on the line look at Sabathia's early troubles and recall the more than 250 innings he threw last year, playoffs included.

About that, I have only one thing to say: Eric Wedge, I know where you live.

Cleveland, right? You live in Cleveland? Yeah, I thought so. It makes sense. I mean, you're the manager, you would pretty much have to live in Cleveland. At least during the season.

Thanks for your time, Mr. Wedge, I'm glad we could settle that.

It's easy to get bent out of shape by a series of ugly starts, but we are after all talking about a mere 18 innings, which isn't really enough data to judge. In today's Baseball Prospectus ($), Joe Sheehan argues that this four-game stretch really isn't out of line with the worst four games Sabathia has thrown in any of the past four seasons.

It's a valid point, but he probably doesn't have steak at stake.

Sky High Sky Sox...

...come crashing down to Earth.

Or do they?

The Colorado Springs Sky Sox are the AAA affiliate of the Colorado Rockies. As such, Sky Sox players are both very near and very far from fulfilling their major league dreams.

Denver:



Colorado Springs:



As a paper boy, it's in my nature to be fascinated by the thin line between triumph and setback. One morning you're rolling down the road like it's paved with rubies; you've got the papers nestled between the doors or in the old milk chute before sunup, before Old Man Jenkins can even think about sicking his man-eating standard poodle on you. The next morning, it's a sixty page insert and a black sky that reads 'paper boy struck by lightning.'

So you'll forgive me if stories like this strike a chord:

Before the game, National League championship rings were presented to 10 Sky Sox players for their contributions to the 2007 pennant won by the Colorado Rockies. Six others connected with the Sky Sox or Rockies also received rings.

The ceremony - and the game's first pitch - was delayed 32 minutes due to the late arrival of Rockies owners Charlie and Dick Monfort. Making the trip with the Monforts were assistant general manager Bill Geivett, director of player development Marc Gustafson and Walter Sylvester, an assistant in player development.

I mean, there you are, a fairly successful minor league ballplayer knocking on the door of the Major Leagues. Even so, you're one step ahead of most of your teammates; you're one of the lucky few, you've tasted The Show. Sure, it was ten days in May, but you've seen guys you know, guys you shagged spring fungoes with back at Hi Corbett Field in Tucson, get to the World Series. Now you've got a taste for it. You want more.

So it's a new season and you're back in the minors, working your butt off, biding your time, but wanting more than anything to get back to Coors Fields, wanting it more than sex. One night at the old ballpark, you're reminded of just how far away it all is. The owners and the suits in the front office drive down the interstate and you get your NL championship ring, a standing ovation, and the envy of anyone you've ever met. And then you look up and you're playing the Tacoma Rainiers in front of 1,826 fans at a charming little grotto called "Security Service Field".




How do you get up for that? Isn't that the letdown of all letdowns?

"It was a great honor to get (the ring)," said Sky Sox center fielder Cory Sullivan, who had two hits and two RBIs. "It was exciting. All of us feel like we earned it."

All five Sky Sox starters who received a ring - Sullivan, Ian Stewart, Seth Smith, Sean Barker and Joe Koshansky - either scored a run or had an RBI.

Smith, who drew three walks to contribute to the team's league-leading total, said, "We would much rather have been at Coors Field (in Denver) with the rest of the guys to get the ring but it was nice. It was like a late Christmas. The big-league team got their's about two weeks ago.

I'm impressed that all five starters who got bling had a run or an RBI. I guess you don't get that far by worrying a lot about how close you came or what might have been. You don't focus on the fact that you're down in the bus leagues now, you remember that you made it to The Show and you focus everything on getting back.

I guess that's why they're playing in the Pacific Coast League, with one eye on the National League West, and I'm stuck here in my Mom's basement stuffing newspaper inserts.

Man, I don't like the look of that sky.